Iuz the Evil

Prep for the Dungeon Crawl

24 August

Dear Diary,

We had a rather exciting day today, but by Aorun’s grace we came out on top. This is what happened:

After making preparations for what we knew would be a tough dungeon crawl, we entered the next room. Large and with a single exit on the far end, it was littered with the mutilated bodies of more than 50 goblins and 5 paladins. Upon closer examination, we discovered that one of the Paladin’s was from my order and was still breathing. While debating what to do to treat his wounds (as he was clearly badly injured (I could tell because he was missing a leg), but we were short on healing spells due to our Dwarven Cleric’s absence), we were pleasantly surprised when the Paladin opened his eyes and upon confirming my identity as a Paladin of his order, gave us a ring that opened a portal. This brought us reinforcements in the form of a 7th level cleric, who promptly healed the Paladin. The newly revitalised Paladin explained to us that there was a very powerful necromancer in the centre of the keep who was constructing an undead monstrosity by combining body parts together (hence the mutilated bodies). The Paladin explained to us that we should burn or destroy the bodies of any foes we encountered, and then was escorted through the portal by the cleric, who promptly came back to our side. The cleric explained that she was contracted to help us out for a day.

We then wasted inordinate amounts of time trying to open a dumb door. The door was made of wood (but was backed with steel as we discovered as we resorted to the ol’ hack our way through strategy), and had 5 finger sized slots on it. We shoved various things through it (while failing numerous spot checks), including twigs, fingers from the dead goblins and paladins etc, as no one wanted to try this with their own fingers once we removed a fingerless goblin hand from the slot. After much mucking a round, the Cleric grew so impatient she pointed out the solution to us and we proceeded through.

After sneaking through the corridor, we entered the next room where we saw an old lady, who was talking to a young lady, who was tied to a tree from which those of us who were divinely attuned could feel a malevolent presence. The whole bunch of them were insane if you ask me, with the old lady warning us that a giant goblin was coming to kill us and we should save them and run while the young lady alternately exhorted us to not untie her but to instead kill her before she did any harm and not to kill her because she didn’t want to die. Further examination of the room revealed a chest that contained an ordinary adventurers diary. The last entry explained how an adventurer had come to destroy a malevolent treant (ominously, there were no other entries despite the fact that this entry was dated several weeks prior.) Our useless druid failed to tell us anything about the treant, and frankly dear diary between you and me, I am beginning to suspect he might not be a real druid or even a supporter of the war against Iulz! (but more on that later). After attempting to wheedle the truth out of them using that most popular spell, zone of truth, we determined that the old lady was lying. Or rather, we threatened to tie her up and she attacked us. Either way she was a fairly powerful magician of some sort but we soon dispatched her by hitting her repeatedly. We had earlier tried to remove the young lady from the malevolent tree, but attempted to keep her restrained as she was out of her mind. As a result of our failed efforts, she had one hand free, but we slowly removed her from the tree while keeping her limbs bound together (a very complicated process). We destroyed the tree, and the young lady’s possession was ended – the tree was possessed by a daemonic entity that served Iulz but by destroying it’s link to this earth (while taking care not to touch it for fear of being possessed ourselves), we freed it’s victim. We proceeded to collect lots of loot and burnt the body of the old lady. Mimi (the young lady) has lockpicking talents that far exceed those of our pathetic thief, and she agreed to join us on our quest.

Which reminds me dear diary, two most bizzare things happened during the fight. Firstly, our barbarian spontaneously turned into shrew during the fight. Although he courageously continued to fight and succeeded in nipping the old lady once, it is of some concern that our fellow meatshield occasionally turns into small creatures while fighting, even if he does eventually return to human (or in his case half-orcish) shape.
Secondly, our lovely druid was exhorted by the evil old lady to join Iulz and explained to him that this was his last chance. His hesitation in combat following her speech said it all, and although he eventually helped us win the fight, one must worry greatly if he has indeed been consorting with the minions of Iulz. I will report this to the council – the bracelets will provide sufficient proof to back me up.

We snuck to the next room where there were a bunch of half-orcs chained around the walls, with one in the middle (female and smoking hot by the way!!! I think our own half-orc has a thing for her – he was being gentlemanly which is a sight to see [and one that I have not seen before!!!]) being tortured by a hooded man with a bandolier of potions strapped to his chest. The half-orc rushed towards him in an attempt to save his kin but he dropped a potion on the floor and vanished in a pile of smoke. While the half-orcs were slowly freed, the rest of us wasted time running around the room trying to hit the invisible man, who occasionally appeared, chucked a couple of potions at us and disappeared again. We eventually managed to take him down, minesweeper style after blockading the entrances. We received more loot, more confirmation that our barbarian occasionally becomes a small furry animal while fighting, and most importantly, a diary confirming the presence of the necromancer and identifying the hooded man (now deceased) as a minion of Iulz and the half-orc lady and her party as important rebels against Iulz. I don’t really trust her though – she was evasive and had quiet words with our own half-orc. Still, I suppose it will be fine as long as she continues to fight against Iulz – she told us that the necromancer had a valuable artifact that she wanted retrieve, but I told her we were unable to guarantee any such thing as we would have to turn it into the council.

Anyway diary, that is how my day went. It is probably much more exciting than being a book. See you tomorrow!

P.S. Why can’t we have a half-roc on our team instead of a half-orc. I think that would be substantially more useful. Not that I have anything against orcs, but having a half bird thing on our team that could fly would be even more useful. Not that they even exist – and how they would doesn’t bear thinking about. Arrgh my scarred mind. Damn you diary, damn you.

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Naliw0rld

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